Things change
My heart has been stuck in limbo for awhile. I have been non existent on my blog for that reason. Being back living in the city I have loved for 8 years now, matters of my heart have been taken a hold of the best of me. I appreciate that those of you that read and comment, tell me that my blog is so positive and heartfelt. I try to keep it that way. I must get this other thorn in my side out of my system.
I was in love last year. It was my first love and I enjoyed every second of it. How it felt. How we laughed. How upsetting it was when I left. Sadly after two months of being on different sides of the world, he broke my heart because the relationship wasn't strong enough to live on. I fell into a deep depression and was afraid I had lost him forever. Instead he stuck around the 9 months I was away, conversing only through Skype and me being the romantic kept sending him my love, in letters and pictures. The love, I believed, wouldn't fade.
Fast forward now to the present. He has turned into a completely different person and has left me with the same pain as I swore I never wanted to experience again. The love is gone but my heart still yearns. I put myself into situations with him this time that I wish I didn't. Otherwise perhaps my heart would be already mended. Maybe not. Now I am in this stage of morning....again. I have decided to cancel him out of my life because right now he is poison to me. All I hope is that I will hopefully be able to feel love again. REAL LOVE! Because god damnit I deserve it!!
If you don't see any new posts for awhile, know that I am trying to heal myself in other ways....again. As much as I love hearing from you all, now is yet another session of "Katie needs to focus on Katie."
I want to be happy more than anything. I am living my dream. In Florence, Italy.
And when I start to feel this way, I really just want to escape and hug my Mom. Since her hugs are the best that can soothe the soul.
Send me strength.
That is all I ask and need.
I was in love last year. It was my first love and I enjoyed every second of it. How it felt. How we laughed. How upsetting it was when I left. Sadly after two months of being on different sides of the world, he broke my heart because the relationship wasn't strong enough to live on. I fell into a deep depression and was afraid I had lost him forever. Instead he stuck around the 9 months I was away, conversing only through Skype and me being the romantic kept sending him my love, in letters and pictures. The love, I believed, wouldn't fade.
Fast forward now to the present. He has turned into a completely different person and has left me with the same pain as I swore I never wanted to experience again. The love is gone but my heart still yearns. I put myself into situations with him this time that I wish I didn't. Otherwise perhaps my heart would be already mended. Maybe not. Now I am in this stage of morning....again. I have decided to cancel him out of my life because right now he is poison to me. All I hope is that I will hopefully be able to feel love again. REAL LOVE! Because god damnit I deserve it!!
If you don't see any new posts for awhile, know that I am trying to heal myself in other ways....again. As much as I love hearing from you all, now is yet another session of "Katie needs to focus on Katie."
I want to be happy more than anything. I am living my dream. In Florence, Italy.
And when I start to feel this way, I really just want to escape and hug my Mom. Since her hugs are the best that can soothe the soul.
Send me strength.
That is all I ask and need.
Oh how I feel for you. But as a mother who has seen the same thing happen to her daughter, I know you will get through it. You are strong, beautiful, living in a fairy-tale place and have so many great adventures ahead of you and wonderful people to meet. Remember the saying "It's always darkest before the dawn"? - so true. Think of the positive things and let go of the negative. The bad things will drag you down. DO NOT DWELL ON THEM. Get out into the sunshine. In the meantime, a little retail therapy is in order.
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Thank you! If I was able to spend a lot of money i would be shopping now.
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Someone told me that if you do not feel the pain of love lost, you are not alive. And what's better then losing and then finding an even stronger love with butterflies and all...make new memories, you are strong and young and from what I have read can do anything you set your mind to! In time this too shall pass...another quote! Us romantics must move on...
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Thanks Lucy! I am pressing on....wish I could buy shoes.....
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It is so hard when you are someone that loves so strongly. Someone who believes in that beautiful love we all know exists but isn't always easy to find. Give yourself time to accept what is and then look to the sky. I wish you happiness, lots of love, and peace of mind!
xoxo
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You will find someone else. I know that its little consolation when things like this happen but love will come around when you expect it the least. Get out and enjoy life with real friends.
A virtual hug xxx
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Sending Strength and positive vibes.
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You will find love, because you give love. What you give you will receive.
If you ever want to talk, I've got Skype now
You rock. You're awesome. Never doubt yourself and your possibilites! xxx
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thanks annika...I will be calling you soon...get over your fear! hehe
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Katie,
I'm sorry to hear that your little heart is broken, again! But what I know of you is that you are a VERY strong person and I know you will be fine. You are exactly where you want to be in life and all that's left is for the other pieces of your life to fall into place. It's just a matter of time. You deserve the love of a person who will reciprocate yours. I know from experience that these things happen when we least expect them. Keep moving forward and he will cross your path. The best thing you can do is just what you said, concentrate on Katie. Take care of yourself and the universe will take care of everything else
Baci cara mia!
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Wow! This post brings back unhappy memories of what happened to my own daughter and Florence at least one time. It took some time but I now think she has found someone that is a lot more than the guy that broke her heart. You kind of remind me of her and I trust that the same holds true for you. Hugs and God Bless!!!
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This post brings back lots of unhappy memories for me to! You will find love, I am sure, look after yourself, trust in yourself, which I am sure you do..and be Happy
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Hi this is Filigiakke. My wife did the same thing that you did. She came back after in Florence and she tried to work there. She was miserable after few months, and she move back to the US. Life is really hard when you are far from your friends, and family. Try to stay positive. Keep in mind that you are in one of the most beautiful city in the world. You are young, a very smart girl, and you'll bounce back. I am sure about that. You are living an incredible experience, when you are older you'll realized how big what you are doing is. But it is hard now I know. We decided to stay together, and I move to the US, but it is not easy for me either after almost 20 years.
Forget him I'd find somebody else, and enjoy yourself in Florence.
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Katie-I too remember that pain that feels like it will never subside, but it will and you will find love again with someone who will not break your heart. You're in the city you've wanted to live in and take joy in that and keep going forward.
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Hey Katie!
I was wondering how you are doing over there and looked you up.....so sorry to read this post...I know it's hard to picture now, but you'll be so much stronger once you get past this! Please take care of yourself. You are awesome!
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