Dear Universe,

I am calling on you because I believe you bestowed this love on me from the get go.  I did write about it but nothing too specific.  I was perplexed by the journey I was on at first but now, I know why.  I was in a bubble of "love", that I couldn't let go of.  I was tortured by the pain of not "being there" instead I was "here".  I was told I was not thinking about myself and only about the person at hand.  I was obsessed to a point of no return.  I was covered in pain and darkness, afraid I would never feel the same way again.  You changed me.  You brought me to a place where I knew I could conquer the deprecating feeling of failure, guilt and longing to be...somewhere, someone else.  With a close hold onto my heart and a close hold on how I was thinking at the time, I knew I was amongst deep, rough waters, I couldn't swim out of on my own.  How was I going to get out?  You knew.  You had not a doubt.  And alas, you were right.  The love is still there, you said that right?  It would be?  Well it is.  And I am confident in that.  As my mind flutters back to the time of a dire need to escape and leave and fly and jump ship, you were sure I would make it to the other side of the mountain without a scratch on me, right?  You knew it all.  You never had a doubt, I would prevail.  I would win the battle between my contradicting mind and my vulnerable Heart.  My Heart is always supposed to win right?  Because I feel a victory in my chest happening as I write this with a smile on my face.  The song, Heart of the matter, rings in my ears, I knew it would come.  I knew my Heart would grow strong once again.  I knew it would.  The mind had control over these months, not letting me explore the feelings I had beforehand.  With him in my arms.  Oh Wow.  Those Heart muscles of mine have grown.  Time.  Time was on my side.  It wasn't the devil that I kept swearing it was.  My legs were strong in soccer, my abs strong from Bodyflow, now my Heart has taken over.  There is nothing I have to fear, after living through the most painful thing a soul can endeavor.  I really know.  Did you already know all this, really?  Are you some sort of a magician?  I lurk back to those times as one would, the times that are still vivid and real.  Still living in my Heart, my Heart strings, can you hear them playing?  You know who I am?  Heart, can you believe it? We made it!  We did it!  Can you feel yourself strong in my chest, stronger than ever before?  Universe, you know I have no words for you (aside from the ones above).  So you are not worried at all that things will be as they were?  Is that what you meant when you smiled like that?  You are nodding your head now with a smile, does that mean you are certain that my Heart is certain that things will be better than they were before, stronger than they were before?  I have the confidence, the fearlessness, the hope and the never-ending stamina to withstand each challenge set forth into my path.  Immaculate, I am.  Is that what you said?  Wow, and you testify in front of all who read this blog, that I will prevail and accomplish all my dreams and loves with flawless strength and power. 

I am grateful for the 0 times that you said I was not the right one for this job.  The close to 9 times I have asked for your help in writing to you or verbally asking you for help.  The 8th time I might have brought him up in this post.  And last but not least, the 4 words that I live by: Perseverance, Strength, Challenge and Hope that all will be where it should be when I get off that plane. 



taken in Rome, "Alley of Divine Love"

    Happy Love Thursday!

Florence it won't be long now...bags are itchin' to be packed.

14 days til my British Ceremony, mark your calendars!  It will be a BIG DAY!

Anyone else have a feeling of clarity lately?  Let it be about love, loss or rebirth?  Share in the comments below!  Would love to share this with you all!

a presto amici