I sat there crying on the field wondering what I could have done better.  My other teammates have already started the lonely walk back to the locker room.  I notice that I am one of 3 players sitting on the field in unbearable pain and anguish over what a horrible game was just played.  I felt so strongly about soccer for many years and today I know how it truly feels to lose.  To this day I can't remember what the score was or who we played up in Winona, MN, but I will always remember the feeling I had as the last whistle blew and the opposing team cheered in glory and me sinking into the horrible abyss of "what the F*** just happened?"  How could we be this bad?  Is it how we were coached or how we played together as a team or didn't?  As much as it sucks to lose, the pain of letting down your team or another person, the strength of loss begins to build our character as we move from that horrible point of no return.  Going past the "what could I have done better to keep them from scoring, do I need to train more, should I stop drinking so much perhaps that is why I am a slow defender?"  Rising above all the could've's, should've's, would've's, and realizing that all this turmoil is going to make me stronger.  Losing creates a sense of a larger and stronger self.  As said in the movie 'A Good Year' by the brilliant Albert Finney, "You should celebrate your losses as big as your wins, so when they day comes that you do win, you will fully appreciate it." 

I am grateful for all that has happened so far in my life, from my trips and jobs in Italy.  To all my friends and lovers that have pushed me to never give up on life or love.  To all my family, for always being there for me when I never know what to say from what I just experienced and how to deal with it.  Italy will be in my life soon, and will challenge me every day from there on out.  Perhaps I have been wanting challenges all these years, and it was disguised as Florence.  As much as it hurts to lose in life, I am going to celebrate this experience in my life so when it comes to the day that I WIN BIG I will be SOO much more appreciative to the experiences of loss leading up to my BIG WIN! 

Losing is half the battle, if we were all winning the lottery of life, (as much as that would help most of us right now) how could we grow into the most well-rounded people in the world? Getting back up on the horse is the tough part.  That is when friends and family come into view.  Never think that this game of life is won by just You.  There are coaches, there are fans, there are teammates.  This is important to realize.  So many of us feel we must go on by ourselves, fight and try to score the goals by ourselves without the help of a coach guiding us, a teammate being there to pass the barriers onto when it gets to hard to handle on our own, a fan cheering you to the goal line as you make the winning score.  I think a lot of us forget about the importance of support, I know I do.  For many years after college I believed I didn't need anyone to assist me in my quest to Florence.  Indeed I was wrong. 

I hope you thank all your teammates running along side you, your fans that never stop cheering for you, and your coaches in life that ALWAYS believe in you. 

The road is long, but with friends on your side, you can conquer those mountains and beyond.

a presto amici